Rig Veda 10.109.1
यमः प्रजापतिः प्रथमं मृत्युमृत्यवे हुवे |
अपन्त्स्वधो जनिता जज्ञे देवानां समन्धसा ||
"Yamī, full of love and longing, speaks her affectionate words while lying down, seeking to prolong life and asking for union with her dear brother Yama."
Explanation: Yamī urges her brother Yama to unite with her, reasoning that since they are the only beings in existence at this primordial moment, the union is natural. She invokes cosmic reasons, saying creation itself began with such unions.
Rig Veda 10.109.2
तं हो वदन्ति यमयं मिथः स्रीः पत्ये मनसा दधे।
अरे अस्मदिति ब्रवीत् सर्वधातुः सुम्नायं विशृङ्खलः।
"Yamī speaks with her heart’s desire toward Yama, justifying her longing, but Yama counters, upholding restraint and rejecting the notion, standing firm in moral integrity."
Explanation: Yama responds by rejecting her advances, emphasizing that physical desire does not define righteous conduct. He invokes the ethical standards of human behavior, stressing that self-control and restraint are more important than physical urges.
Rig Veda 10.109.3
अचाकशं त्वं सखा मे त्वमिन्द्रस्य भूषति।
नाहं स्रष्टुमितीदं पप्रच्छमिनिसं वृषणः।
"Yama tells Yamī: 'I will not fall prey to desire as you suggest. Even though you seek this union, it is not proper, and we must uphold the sacred laws and remain chaste.'
Explanation: Yama explains that desires and pleasure must be restrained within certain bounds, and the mind must overcome physical impulses to maintain moral and ethical standards.
Manu Smriti 8.354
स्तेनः सूर्येन्द्वग्निपुराणसाक्ष्यं हरञ्जनावस्त्ररसोऽन्नगन्धान्।
अपो गवो भूर्मनुष्याश्च सर्वे दुर्वृत्तं पापिनमाहुरस्मिन्॥
"Stealing, lying, unpunished crimes, and the violation of another man's wife—these sins lead to destruction both in this world and in the next."
Explanation: "All things, including the Sun, Moon, Fire, the Waters, and the Earth, are witnesses to the deeds of a man. Therefore, the one who engages in sinful acts (such as adultery) will eventually be condemned by all creation." This shloka emphasizes that unethical actions, including extramarital relationships, are considered grave sins witnessed by the divine.
KEY POINTS
Self-Control and Dharma: Yama's rejection of Yamī’s advances reflects a higher moral principle. Even though Yamī tries to justify her desire through cosmic reasons, Yama remains firm in his stance on maintaining righteousness (dharma) and controlling sexual desires.
Ethics Over Desire: The dialogue shows a profound conflict between desire and ethics. Yama symbolizes the moral ideal of resisting temptation, even in the most intimate and primordial context, thus preserving the cosmic and social order.
In Dharma, discipline takes precedence over desires and wishes. You can not wish anything and do what you like and justify it saying Gods are with you. That is your wishful thinking. Every criminal has justification. Human beings have tendency to do anything, feel anything, are normally uneducated and ignorant. So sages thought it important to codify them.
Dharma Over Desires:
The essence of Dharma (righteousness) is to regulate human behavior so that individuals act in harmony with universal moral principles, rather than purely following their personal whims and desires. Desires are natural, but when they are unchecked, they can lead to adharma (unrighteousness), causing harm to individuals, families, and society.
The sages and seers of ancient times, understanding the fallibility of human nature, codified Dharma to ensure that discipline, ethics, and justice would prevail over the fluctuating emotions and desires of individuals. Texts like the Vedas, Manu Smriti, and the Upanishads outline principles to guide behavior, teaching that true freedom comes from self-mastery and discipline, not from indulgence.
Wishful Thinking and Justification:
Every individual is capable of justifying their actions, even those that are clearly wrong. Criminals, for instance, may rationalize their behavior to avoid feeling guilty and to stay happy. In the same way, people often try to justify acting on their desires by claiming divine approval, interpreting religious texts to suit their convenience, or believing that their personal feelings somehow align with the greater cosmic order. This is nothing but wishful thinking.
Saying that "Gods are with me" to justify unethical actions ignores the core of Dharma. True spirituality and religious conduct demand that one follows discipline and adheres to the moral laws set by sages and scriptures. The Upanishads often remind us that spiritual progress and the realization of the ultimate truth come only through a disciplined life, not through unchecked indulgence in desires.
Codification by Sages:
Recognizing the tendency of humans to act out of ignorance and self-interest, sages worked to codify rules that would prevent moral and ethical degradation. They understood that without a clear set of guidelines, people would drift toward adharma due to lack of knowledge or emotional impulses. This is why scriptures like the Manu Smriti contain laws that govern not only personal conduct but also social interactions, family life, and justice.
These laws were designed to ensure that discipline would take precedence over desires, and that individuals would be held accountable for their actions according to universal moral principles rather than subjective justifications.
Summary:
In Dharma, the individual is called upon to control their desires, uphold righteousness, and live in harmony with cosmic order. You cannot justify unethical behavior by claiming divine approval or personal belief; such reasoning is flawed and leads to adharma. True Dharma requires following the principles laid out by sages who codified moral laws to guide human behavior, recognizing that unchecked desires lead to chaos both within the individual and society.
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Rig Veda 10.85.30
इमं मे गङ्गे यमुने सरस्वती शुतुद्रि स्तोमं सचता परुष्ण्या |
असिक्न्या मरुद्वृधे वितस्तया या जुवाते सिन्धुं यासु मे हुवे ||
Meaning: This verse primarily invokes the sacred rivers in the wedding hymn, emphasizing the sanctity of marriage. However, within the context of the hymn, marriage is presented as a divine institution, and the relationship between husband and wife is considered sacred and inviolable. The text stresses the bond between the couple and their responsibility toward each other.
Rig Veda 10.85.44
उप ममध्वमुप गन्तनूतये यत्सुराणा मरुतां सदसि श्वसि |
उप श्रयध्वमुप यज्ञमाचरुप श्रुष्टिं वहमानोप श्रुष्टिं वहन्तु वः ||
Meaning: The wedding hymn in the Rig Veda emphasizes the role of fidelity in marriage. It prays for mutual affection and the proper fulfillment of duties between the spouses. There is a strong notion that the sanctity of the marriage bond is to be preserved, and infidelity is indirectly discouraged by emphasizing the loyalty expected from both partners.
Yajur Veda 30.5
अग्निर्व्रतपते व्रतं चरिष्यामि तच्छकेयं तन्मे राध्यतां तत्प्रवृणामि तद्व्रतेन कल्पस्व।
Meaning: "O Agni, the Lord of Vows, I shall observe my vow of righteousness. May I have the strength to follow it, and may it bring me success." This shloka emphasizes the importance of adhering to vows and dharma (righteousness). In the context of marriage, the vow of fidelity is sacred, and adhering to it is part of following dharma.
Atharva Veda 4.36.1
अयं ते योनिरूतये पुरुषत्वाय जन्मने।
मातुष्ट्वं पितुष्ट्वं चानुब्रूहि सवितुः सवे॥
Meaning: "This is your origin for procreation, for being a man. Follow the duties of the father and mother, and fulfill your obligations toward creation." This verse highlights the responsibilities of the couple in procreation and family life, implying fidelity within the marital relationship and condemning actions that might harm familial harmony, such as infidelity.
Atharva Veda 4.37.1
किमायस्ता मनसा वचः किमात्रा वाचं संयच्छ वाचमन्ववचः |
उपस्तुस्ते तन्वाम्र्थं रुद्राय वरुणाय नमः॥
Meaning: "Why do you strain yourself with thoughts and words? Control your speech and follow your duties with proper conduct. Offer your body and mind to the Lord, such as Rudra or Varuna." This verse indirectly implies that one must control desires and thoughts, possibly hinting at the need for controlling carnal desires outside the sanctified bond of marriage.
Atharva Veda 6.42.3
अयामौ महयते विष्णुः सत्येनान्दान्स्तुवन्त।
पुरं बाहुर्धर्मस्य सत्यं देवैः समार्जतः॥
Meaning: "May Vishnu, the upholder of truth, bless this (household). May righteousness and truth prevail through the hands of the gods." The verse emphasizes righteousness and the establishment of dharma (moral law) in a household, suggesting that any deviation from moral and righteous behavior (such as infidelity) is against divine principles.
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Marriage is a profound commitment that requires more than just ritualistic observance. It calls for a deep understanding of the values that underpin the relationship. It can be beneficial for individuals and couples to reflect on the meanings behind the rituals they participate in. That is why people were first educated for years so that they know what they are talking about before engaging in serious things in life.
People have not read or understood a single book properly in life, who cant write five lines about themselves, believe in caste, they think that scriptures allows it, have they read and understood scriptures? Or it is like if something is believed by millions of idiots then it is true?
In past people used to get kids married at age of 14-18. Kids who can't read or write, were made to take take these vows like parrots. Today people with big degrees and class in society, they do the same.
Nowadays marriage has reduced to theatrics, another party. Modern marriages can sometimes seem like mere performances, focusing on elaborate ceremonies without genuine understanding or intent. If sages have so many things for so long, and if human beings have stuck to it (even if they did not have knowledge and understanding and caliber, still the fact that they stuck to it is their vote for it), then there must be importance in these words.
Saptapadi (Seven Vows) in Hindu Marriage:
The mantras are recited in Sanskrit as the couple walks around the fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the marriage.
First Step (Prathama Padi):
ओम् एकमिषे विष्णुस्त्वान्वेतु।
"Let Vishnu (the protector) lead you to prosperity and nourishment. We take the first step together for the welfare of our family and the provision of food and nourishment."
Meaning: This vow is about ensuring that the couple works together to provide nourishment and sustenance for their family, symbolizing their responsibility toward providing a stable household.
Second Step (Dvitīya Padi):
ओम् द्वितीयं ऊर्जे विष्णुस्त्वान्वेतु।
"Let Vishnu lead you to strength and energy. We take the second step to grow in physical, mental, and spiritual strength."
Meaning: This vow signifies the couple's commitment to building mental, physical, and spiritual strength together, ensuring their ability to face life's challenges.
Third Step (Tritīya Padi):
ओम् तृतीयं रायस्पोषाय विष्णुस्त्वान्वेतु।
"Let Vishnu lead you to prosperity. We take the third step together to increase our wealth and prosperity by righteous means."
Meaning: This vow emphasizes the importance of prosperity and wealth for the household, gained through righteous means and hard work.
Fourth Step (Chaturtha Padi):
ओम् चतुर्थं मायोभवाय विष्णुस्त्वान्वेतु।
"Let Vishnu lead you to happiness. We take the fourth step together to bring happiness and harmony to our family."
Meaning: This step highlights the couple's duty to create an environment of happiness, harmony, and mutual respect within the household.
Fifth Step (Panchama Padi):
ओम् पञ्चमं पश्यनकाय विष्णुस्त्वान्वेतु।
"Let Vishnu lead you to progeny. We take the fifth step together for the welfare of our future children, if we are blessed with them."
Meaning: The couple vows to be responsible parents and to raise their children with love, care, and righteousness, ensuring a strong future generation.
Sixth Step (Shashtha Padi):
ओम् षष्ठं ऋतुभ्यः षड्विवर्ष्यासु विष्णुस्त्वान्वेतु।
"Let Vishnu lead you through all seasons. We take the sixth step together to walk through all the seasons of life in unity and with balance."
Meaning: This vow expresses their commitment to stay together through all stages of life, be it in happiness or sorrow, in prosperity or adversity.
Seventh Step (Saptama Padi):
ओम् सप्तमं सप्तर्षिभ्यो हॊत्राभ्यो विष्णुस्त्वान्वेतु।
"Let Vishnu lead you to eternal friendship and companionship. We take the seventh step to be true companions for life, to remain inseparable and loyal."
Meaning: The seventh and final vow is about lifelong friendship, love, loyalty, and companionship. It signifies the couple's commitment to walk together through life, with mutual respect, love, and understanding.
OTHER SHLOKAS
Mangalashtakam (eight auspicious verses)
1.
स्त्रीणां श्रीः पुरुषाणां परं बलम्,
सच्चरित्रं कुलजातं विवर्जितम्।
योऽयं पतिः पतिभक्त्या परेण ते,
मङ्गलं तस्य मूर्धनि ते सदा।।
For women, virtue is the greatest wealth; for men, strength of character is the supreme power. May this marriage, founded on mutual devotion and noble conduct, always remain auspicious.
2.
धनधान्यसमृद्धि यशश्च ते,
पुण्यकर्मफलम् देवि यत्सदा।
नरनारायण सेवक ते सदा,
मङ्गलं तस्य मूर्धनि ते सदा।।
May there be an abundance of wealth, prosperity, and honor in your life. May the fruits of good deeds bring happiness and blessings. May this sacred union be forever auspicious.
3. विवाहे यत्समायुक्तमधर्मतः,
धर्मकार्यविमुखं तु यद्विधि।
तस्मिन् वै सदा मङ्गलं वसेत्,
मङ्गलं तस्य मूर्धनि ते सदा।।
This marriage, joined in righteousness, is a bond of virtue and responsibility. May all the divine powers bless this couple, and may their union remain auspicious at all times.
4.
गृहसंपतिः सदा कलत्रे,
धर्मपत्न्यां सुविदुषां वरे।
दुष्कृतं नास्ति दानधर्मिनां,
मङ्गलं तस्य मूर्धनि ते सदा।।
In a virtuous household, the wife is the bringer of prosperity and happiness. Those who are devoted to righteousness and charity bring blessings into their home. May the couple always be blessed with auspiciousness.
5.
धर्मेण यत्पतिव्रतं सदा स्त्रियां,
धर्मो धर्मपतिः स्त्रियामपि।
एवं सदा पति पत्न्या समं सदा,
मङ्गलं तस्य मूर्धनि ते सदा।।
The wife’s devotion to her husband is rooted in dharma (righteousness), and the husband's duties toward his wife are equally sacred. May this mutual devotion in the path of dharma bring them constant blessings.
6. चन्द्रमण्डलमण्डितमस्तके,
शुद्धवर्णविमलाग्निसंगते।
साधु यत्परिपूर्णत्वसमं सदा,
मङ्गलं तस्य मूर्धनि ते सदा।।
Like the moon brings beauty to the sky, may this marriage shine with purity, grace, and harmony. May their life together be as full and radiant as the moon, forever blessed.
7.
दुह्खसंतत्यविचारविपन्नताम्,
साधुसेवकविनाशकसंगतम्।
जीवनोत्तमकार्यसुसंस्थिति,
मङ्गलं तस्य मूर्धनि ते सदा।।
May this union be free from sorrow, and may it flourish in righteousness. Their commitment to goodness and service will ensure their lives remain free of misfortune, bringing continuous blessings.
8.
कन्यकां पतिदेवतां परं,
धर्मपत्नीं पतिकर्मसमन्विताम्।
यस्य नान्यविधर्मता सताम् सदा,
मङ्गलं तस्य मूर्धनि ते सदा।।
May the wife see her husband as a divine partner, and the husband fulfill his duties with devotion. Together, they shall walk the path of dharma. May auspiciousness always remain with them.
The Mangalashtakam is recited to invoke the blessings of prosperity, well-being, and happiness in the married couple's life. It highlights the importance of virtue, mutual respect, and adherence to dharma (righteousness) in sustaining a prosperous and harmonious marriage. These verses emphasize that a marriage founded on moral values, mutual care, and devotion will bring long-lasting blessings to both the couple and their household.
Kanyadaan Mantra
“कन्यां नरपतिं देहि यः पतिं पदमाचरेत्।
येन सा धर्मं यशश्चाप्नुयादाशिषा सह।”
"May this bride be given to a man of virtue who will guide her on the path of righteousness and honor. May she attain both righteousness and glory in her life with him."