What is this nonsense about hobby which people write on Linkedin and matrimonial websites? 95% Indians have no hobby except lazying on the couch, watching TV and gossip. Only time they think about hobby is when they have to fill in CV or shadi dot com. When we look on shadi dot com, everyone is passionate about this and that, poetry, singing, sports, painting. But how many good poets we have seen in Indian languages or English? How many athletes, painters?
There’s a real lack of depth behind these labels. The idea of being "passionate" has become superficial, something thrown around to fit a narrative, not something truly pursued or lived.
The idea of being passionate (on CV or shadi dot com) about poetry or singing, travelling, being a universal citizen, feels like an easy-to-claim label. But results of that are nowhere, people remain narrowminded so deeply that small commonsense like marrying to a person of different language is like life and death kind of difficulty for them. It is like putting on a show for others rather than being committed to developing genuine skills or interests. Whole culture has become show.
People also write on matrimonial websites about their respectable family from xyz place, caste.
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Today on 8th October 2024, I was watching Haryana election results. Bhupinder Singh Hooda was most formidable politician in Haryana, so I tried to know about him.
Wikepedia on Bhupinder Hooda says his father was freedom fighter. It is same with Nitish Kumar, Mukhtar Ansari etc. Hooda was framed in many corruption charges. But it doesnot creates any dissonance with his claim of freedom fighter lineage. How do we Indian people manage both?
This is another nuisance in India, everybody's father/forefather were freedom fighter, everybody is honorable, from honorable family lineage. And still country is full of corruption, nobody has any sense of responsibility towards anything communal or national. Cult of honorable family and all that, it's a deeply ingrained cultural narrative in India. It's almost like people cling to past achievements or associations to gain social legitimacy. There's a lot of romanticizing of past family achievements or connections. The country continues to struggle with corruption, and much of the civic duty is left unaddressed. Whether it's with hobbies or their sense of public responsibility. In the end, it feels like people wear labels and family legacies as badges to impress others rather than a true reflection of themselves.
This obsession with family honor and heritage has become more about social positioning and less about genuine responsibility toward the country or community. Instead of facing the real challenges of today with any integrity or responsibility, people hide behind these inherited stories. It's like living in a society full of borrowed prestige and empty gestures, where the real duty—whether it's character building, helping needy, or national contribution—is often ignored. A lot of these so-called stories of past honor are often exaggerated. It’s a kind of myth-building. It's like a form of collective self-delusion, a romanticized version of the past that people not only project to others but also internalize. They manage to convince themselves so deeply that these fabricated stories of family honor or personal legacy feel entirely real. How widespread this self-deception is—entire families, communities, and even regions sometimes build their identities around these narratives. With repetition stories become ingrained in their sense of self, almost like a personal mythology.
It becomes part of ego, people protect their ego from everything. Our society is very competitive when it comes to honor. People are conditioned from a young age to believe in the greatness of their family’s past. This conditioning is so strong that questioning it feels like an act of betrayal. The environment itself fosters this belief system, making it hard to break away or see through the falsehoods. If people think of themselves as honorable, successful, or from a "great" lineage, it becomes easier to invent or believe stories that support that image, even if those stories are false. People become emotionally attached to these narratives. They derive pride, security, or self-worth from believing in them. Once emotions are tied to a belief, letting go becomes extremely difficult, because challenging that belief would also mean questioning one's identity and sense of self.
These narratives often get reinforced by others—family, friends, community. When everyone around you shares similar stories or accepts them without question, it becomes easy to convince yourself that they are true. Our brains are wired to accept familiar ideas as more valid, and after telling themselves or hearing these stories long enough, people start to genuinely believe them. What started as a little exaggeration or fabrication can evolve into a "truth" that’s hard to distinguish from reality.
People have a natural tendency to remember things that support their worldview and forget or downplay things that contradict it. This selective memory allows them to hold on to the positive aspects of their narrative while ignoring or rationalizing away any facts that might threaten the story they’ve built.
This kind of historical reinvention also speaks to how shallow our sense of identity has become. That is why I dont buy these caste and honor levels. I did not have great labels, being born in lower middle class family and unsophisticated parents. I started to question all this. People are more interested in looking respectable than actually being worthy of respect. It creates an illusion of depth, but when you scratch beneath the surface, there’s often not much there- inflated or false narratives.
When people attach their sense of identity or pride to someone, especially someone from a freedom-fighter family, they elevate that person to an almost mythical status. In this case, Hooda’s father’s legacy as a freedom fighter gives Bhupinder Hooda a kind of "immunity" in the minds of his supporters.
In Indian society, family honor, especially if it’s tied to something as revered as the freedom struggle, is often seen as something that cannot be questioned. People are conditioned to respect such legacies without critically examining.
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There is demand about caste census, and 75% people want it according to C Voter survey. It also reflects that people are unable to move beyond their traditional habits in meaningful way, so caste still matters. If people were really open to hobbies and passionate, that would not happen. If people were more open to pursuing hobbies, passions, or intellectual pursuits that transcend such societal boundaries, these traditional markers of identity would not be so significant. Caste becomes limit, people are limited by smallest things, to pursue any passion meaningfully.
It shows that they’re not breaking out of inherited patterns. True passion or intellectual pursuit would force people to transcend these boundaries because it requires individual thought, self-expression, and often standing apart from societal norms.
People allow themselves to be constrained by the smallest things—caste, family expectations, societal pressure—leaving no room for real exploration of interests or passions. Instead, these hobbies are ticked boxes, used to project a certain image. If people were truly invested in their hobbies and passions, those external markers like caste would likely diminish in importance, because the mind would be consumed by deeper, more fulfilling pursuits.
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